Top 10 Horror Films (Part 1)

I used to avoid horror films as a child. I was easily frightened, apparently. Boy, that sure has changed. I think it probably had something to do with my huge interest in survival horror games. As I slowly overcame my fears of "scary" video games, so did the fear of horror films disappear as well. Or maybe I just grew up a little. Either way, horror films are among some of my favorites. This calls for a Top 10 list!

10. The Devil's Backbone

Guillermo del Toro directed this one in 2001. Though he's much better know for the Hellboy films and the excellent Pan's Labyrinth, The Devil's Backbone is an impressive work. The film takes place in a orphanage during the Spanish Civil War. Our hero, the young Carlos, is haunted by the ghost of a fellow orphan, Santi. The villain, Jacinto, is brilliant portrayed by the infinitely talented Eduardo Noriega. It's a tense, masterful work. The atmosphere del Toro creates with his shots, the underbelly of the orphanage, the doomed landscapes that surround it, and the story that unfolds, and everything else is wonderfully crafted.  If you haven't seen this one, which is likely, please do.


9. Hatchet

Hatchet is an exceptionally violent, exceptionally awesome horror film. Directed by Adam Green, you won't soon forget this film. It's gruesome, funny, and made by people who love the genre. Consider a scene where a large chunk of a character's body (including the entire neck and head) is hacked off by a hatchet. I counted about 11 swings. Or perhaps one where a sander is applied to a characters face. Or maybe that time when that old lady gets her entire head ripped in half... Yeah, I'm spoiling this for you aren't I? Just watch it.




Honorable Mention: The Tripper

"On 4.20, Hippie Blood Will Trickle Down" - Film tagline


The Tripper is directed by David Arquette. It features a psychopathic, Ronald Reagen obsessed maniac killing hippies. Do I have to say more? Didn't think so...






8. The Descent

Neil Marshall's second film, The Descent, is one of the most engaging and tense films I've ever seen. The film concerns a group of women who go spelunking in an unknown cave system. Once instead, they become lost and strange things begin to happen. It's claustrophobic, maddening, and nail-biting throughout its entire running time. However, make sure you watch the film's true ending. It was, for some reason, changed in the American theatrical run. I think the DVD that you can buy/rent now has the better ending. It's also not spelled out for the viewer and you get to decide what the ending means. A great film.



7. The Evil Dead

The Sam Raimi classic we all know and love! The Evil Dead is significant in my book for having a tree rape someone. Also, we have this film to thank for the introduction of Bruce Campbell into our collective unconsciousness. It's horrifying and a whole lot of fun. It also has a particular distinction of being one of the only horror film trilogies in which all of the sequels are great films as well, if extremely different. The film's plot follows a group of friends who visit a cabin in the-middle-of-nowhere and accidentally awaken demons. After this film, that should be a legitimate concern for people vacationing in isolated cabins.


6. Alien

The first film in the Alien franchise is visceral and throughly terrifying. So much is going on in its images that it begs multiple viewings. It's dark, foreboding, and immaculately paced. On the surface, it's the struggle to survive. Underneath that, the cornucopia of sexual imagery appeals to our senses. I didn't fully understand why the initial facehugger attack made me so uneasy until I got older and became a more perceptive viewer. Also, it's got my vote for the singular most frightening scene of all time: the "chestburster" scene. I don't think I was the same person after I saw that. An incredible horror and sci-fi classic.



That's all for now! Stay with me for part 2! Coming soon! :D

Top 10 Final Fantasy Summons/Espers/Eidolons/GFs/Aeons/Whatever!

In the Final Fantasy games, you get access to powerful super beings that you can summon to mop up your enemies. They are usually called summon magic, espers, or eidolons. These beings are usually based upon lore of many different varieties. Thus, every time I pass copies of "The Epic of Gilgamesh" in bookstores I'm tempted to buy it. Also, if not for Final Fantasy, I'd probably never know how disgusting a carbuncle looks... Thanks, much Square-Enix. Good enough introduction? I thought so. On to the list...

10. Carbuncle 

Make sure you never type in "carbuncle" in a Google image search without any modifiers. You'll get lots of gruesome pictures of "carbuncles", which is a type of skin disease. Who knew? Who the hell names these diseases anyway? The Carbuncle we're talking about here is an extremely cute little being that casts Reflect on your party. Carbuncle comes from an ancient term for a cut garnet. There is also mention of a creature called "Carbuncle" in the "Book of Imaginary Beings" by Jorge Louis Borges: described as a creature with some sort of jewel in its head. 

9. Ifrit

Ifrit's basis is the infernal genies (or Djinn) of Arabic myth. They are described as strong and cunning and are associated with fire. So, naturally, Ifrit is usually depicted as very muscled and obliterates the field with fire... Or even a meteor. Anything that's hot and explosive. Ifrit is usually among some of the first summon creatures you have access to in a typical Final Fantasy game. Thus, we all share a deep bond with this blazing genie.







8. Shiva

Oh, Shiva. The sexy ice summon that we usually cast over and over again until our MP is depleted just to see her. Unless we're talking FFVIII... My Shiva had 1,000 (the maximum) compatibility with Squall in a few hours. I could summon her in close to one second. She's also an early game summon. Shiva is drawn from the Hindu god of destruction of the same name. The deity Shiva is said to represent duality and thus it's perfectly reasonable to say that, although he's usually depicted as male, Shiva can also be represented as a female. Other stories about Shiva include a tale about him drinking a poison from the world's oceans that turned his neck blue. All depictions of Shiva in FF games have the creature an icy blue. Shiva is also told to have "matted" hair. In Final Fantasy X, the Shiva Aeon does indeed appear to have either matted or perhaps extremely braided hair: possessing several long, flowing dreadlocks. That's about it for similarities, though.

7. Phoenix

Phoenix isn't as common in the series as some of the others, but when he does appear... It's always very good. The Phoenix summon will usually revive fallen party members while dealing fire damage to your enemies. What's NOT awesome about that? I'll tell you what: nothing. Phoenix comes from Persian mythology originally and is depicted as a bird with beautiful gold and red plumage that, once ever 500 or 1,000 years, dies and is reborn again. The phoenix is also part of Egyptian and Chinese myths. You've seen the Harry Potter films so you know exactly what I'm talking about.

6. Ramuh

Ramuh has a particularly noteworthy distinction of being one of the very few summon creatures to play a direct role in the storyline of some of the games. In FFVI, he helps the party find and explain what is happening to main character Terra. Also, in FFIX, Ramuh helps Dagger get back her summoning ability and becomes her first eidolon. Pretty cool, huh? Always depicted as an old man with a long white beard, Ramuh commands thunder and lightning. His basis is, again, Hindu beliefs. The deity Indra is the king of the gods (Devas) and reigns over war, storm, and rainfall.

5. Odin

Odin is a very common FF summon. He's almost always depicted as demonic knight riding a horse (usually with six legs) and deals instant death to enemies he's used against. Odin is named after the principal god of Norse myth: god of wisdom, war, poetry, battle, and other things. Need I say more? A badass summon based on a badass god.






Honorable Mention: Gilgamesh

Gilgamesh is... well, complicated. He has only been a "summon" one and a half times (If you really want to know how I calculated that math... I'll gladly tell you if you leave a comment...). So, I didn't include him in the list. However, he's so damn cool that I had to put him in somewhere. There was probably an ancient Mesopotamian king called Gilgamesh, ruing the ancient Sumer city of Uruk around 2700 B.C.E. However, that's the least interesting version. The interesting one is said to have been two parts god and one part man. "The Epic of Gilgamesh" chronicles his exploits with his sidekick Enkidu to anger the gods, having become bored with his rule. Gilgamesh is usually portrayed as some sort of rogue that seeks powerful swords. The party is usually able to steal powerful "Genji" equipment from him.

4. Anima

Did this thing seriously freak you out or what? Don't lie. If you said no, you're lying. Anima is the most interesting Aeons in Final Fantasy X and one of the best in a Final Fantasy game period. It's origins lie in both ancient Roman beliefs and in Jungian psychology. The ancient Romans believed that the "anima" was associated with the heart. When one died, their anima would leave their chest through their final breath. Carl Jung said the anima was the subconscious collection of female qualities that reside in all males, influenced by their mothers and perhaps also their sisters, aunts, etc. This is interesting because, in Final Fantasy X, Anima was created from the mother of her summoner, Seymour. For a more in depth discussion of Carl Jung and FFX click here.

Also, check this Youtube vid of Anima being summoned for a more thorough "freaking out":


3. Bahamut

"The Dragon King" as he's known this is usually the summon that most fans point to as their favorite. He's always powerful, his attack animation is always awesome, and he's a dragon. What more could you want? Bahamut is based on Arabic myth. It's first depiction was that of a giant fish which carried a giant bull with 4,000 eyes on its back, which carried a mountain of ruby on its back, which carried six hells and seven heavens, which contains Glenn Beck's sanity. Nah, just kidding about that last part. Another Arabic supposedly does depict Bahamut as a dragon. I'm not sure about this, though. Usually, Bahamut has to be defeated for the party to gain access to his powers. Bahamut was so popular that there are currently FOUR different versions of him in Final Fantasy VII canon: Bahamut, Neo-Bahamut, Bahamut ZERO, and Bahamut Sin. Wow.

2. Knights of the Round

Oh, what hell one had to endure to get Knights of the Round. The only way to do was to either breed a Gold chocobo (with little instruction on how to do so if you wasn't using a guide) or to defeat Emerald Weapon... an optional boss with one million HP to get a Master Materia set from the Traveler at Kalm. Either way, this summon is worth it. It summons thirteen knights that attack in turn, the final blow being struck by--obviously--King Arthur himself with Excalibur. It looks incredible, it's highly damaging, and it's a status symbol. Having Knights of the Round means that you've pretty much mastered Final Fantasy VII, the only game where it appears.

And... without further ado... I give you my number one summoned creature in the Final Fantasy games:

1. Alexander

Alexander is a gigantic death fortress. It's depicted as a massive castle shaped structure with a head in the center and two large "arms" that it moves with (and sometimes fires its weapons with). It's deals holy damage and is sometimes the party's only source of holy damage. Alexander is a common male name (and my favorite male name at that.) It means "protector or man" or "to push back". It plays a key role in FFIX where it is summoned to stave of Bahamut, who is sieging Alexandria (coincidence?) castle. You can see the clip here. That FMV alone is enough to top my list. It's attack animations are also always fantastic. I was glad to see Alexander utilized in FFXIII. Really glad!

So that does it for my Top 10 Summons/Espers/Eidolons/GFs/Aeons/Whatever! List. I hope you enjoyed it.

I Like Hope

Quick warning here: possible FFXIII story spoilers ahead.

"So far Hope is my least favorite girl in the game".... "Hes such a frickin cry baby. I want him to die.".... "...Hes just pathetic. I wouldnt be as bad if he wasnt a little Ahole mommas boy. But to be that and a useless little cry baby. Hes just wants to be hated"

Just a sample of forum posts I found relating to the character of Hope Estheim in "Final Fantasy XIII". I wonder why people don't like him so much? Sure, he complains from time to time but who doesn't? I don't even think he is a particularly egregious whiner... certainly not by Final Fantasy standards (Edward the bard, anyone?) So what gives? Why do people hate Hope?


Now, given, I haven't completed FFXIII yet. School currently possesses the deed to my soul. However, I'm about 11 hours in and I've came to regard Hope as almost my very favorite character. Some background information on Hope is that he's 14 years old and, along with his mother, was part of the Sanctum's Purge event that happens at the beginning of the game. Hope's character is the type of character that is pulled into a conflict he wanted no part in. He's unwilling, for the most part, forced into being an enemy of the Sanctum by being branded an l'Cie (one chosen by a fal'Cie to complete a particular goal). He feels that the other characters pushed him into this situation and, at first, deflects all blame to others and refuses to take any for himself. He harbors a particularly strong grudge against the character Snow who, in his view, is responsible for the death of his mother. He's certainly not a cheerful character (Vanille is cheerful to the point of parody). He's not a particular strong character in some respects. But as the game progresses, he begins to grow stronger. (Note: when I say he isn't a very strong character, I'm referring to his place in the game's story and not commenting on his usefulness in battle.) He even takes the lead at one point in the story, fighting in front of Lightning: resident badass of the game. So far as I've seen, Hope has began to change. I'm certain that he will continue to.


His actions seem completely plausible in response to his mother dying before his eyes and him being swept up into a conflict he didn't choose to be placed in. It's not very over the top or overwrought. So, I ask again, what gives? Would you rather have Edward? Or perhaps *shudder* Vaan? Compared to those two, does Hope's crimes seem so heavy?


I have a hypothesis. I think that Hope is hated in the exact same way Raiden is hated in the Metal Gear Solid series. Raiden, for those unfamiliar, is the name of the protagonist in the sequel to Metal Gear Solid: Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty. He's a huge departure from the series' hero: Snake. While an effective soldier, he's noticeably more feminine than Snake in appearance. He's also a little less sure of himself. He doesn't bleed testosterone. Raiden's taking-over as the main character in MGS2 was a CLOSELY guarded secret. I don't think we figured out until we actually played the game. And the shock was great... Western gamers disliked Raiden because he wasn't an apparent badass. He talked about what was bothering him more openly that Snake did. Perhaps Western gamers dislike Hope because he's not a ripped, manly, bullet-sash-wearing type character that doesn't oft talk about his personal issues. I'm not saying that those characters aren't good characters, far from it. A good story can't be populated by just one type of character. You have to have variety. If you don't, congratulations: you've made something very uninteresting.

So, I remain unconvinced that Hope is the annoying character that he is made out to be. He has a heavy burden he's trying to deal with. Consider the scene where he draws the dagger given to him by Lightning and ponders it. It's his "to be, or not to be" moment. It's a great scene. He doesn't bottle his emotions. He also doesn't throw them all out at once. 

Plus, his Eidolon is Alexander. Always a favorite of mine.

Peter Molyneux Shouldn't Worry...

Just read an article on G4 about Peter Molyneux's "Fable III" and how he was "worried" that since the first half-hour of his game has no combat:

"There is no combat because it is so dramatic, and that drama has little room full combat"

I'm assuming he meant to write "for". Either way, it doesn't really matter. Sorry to point that out, Peter. My peers and myself grind each other over errors we make in our writing all the time. Even informal writing like Facebook updates. But, more to the point: Bravo, Mr. Molyneux! I agree. I hear complaints all the time about story elements in video games constantly. Especially, lately. The most recent example being Final Fantasy XIII. I've heard the game described as an "interactive movie" because of its presentation and linearity. To which I respond with a resounding:

So?

Can someone please tell me what is so terrible about a video game establishing an atmosphere and telling a story? I'd also love to know what is so gut-wrenchingly awful about linear games.

You know what video games that stick out the most in my mind? The games that I invest myself into. The games where I develop feelings and familiarity with the characters. I still remember the pain I felt when Argo fell into that chasm at the end of "Shadow of the Colossus". I remember the shock and utter disgust as I watched Aeris fall to Sephiroth's sword in "Final Fantasy VII" I remember the overwhelming sadness that came over me when Naomi examines Snake's frail body in "Metal Gear Solid 4". All three of those games work overtime to pull you in and personally involve you with the story. What is negative about that? I'll never know.

Here's an even better question: why do people criticize linear games. I remember hearing an "Uncharted 2: Among Thieves" review that complained about it being a linear game. Curious, I just did a Google search on "Uncharted 2 linear" and I started reading through relevant forum posts that showed up in the search... and here's what I have to report:

Step 1: Face. Step 2: Palm.

"Uncharted 2: Among Thieves" is linear because it's required to be linear. The game WOULD NOT have worked in a non-linear, sandbox, GTA rip-off style. In it's current form, it's a tightly paced action-adventure game with gorgeous cinematics balanced perfectly with great gameplay. The cutscenes are never too long. How would this game benefit from sandbox gameplay? Am I alone in this sentiment?

So worry not, Peter Molyneux. The people who love video games that are expertly crafted, wonderfully presented, and very fun will most likely purchase "Fable III". We'll keep you in business.

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

I remember it vividly (hooray for cliché openings...). The day I got my first Gameboy Advance SP. The first game I bought for it was Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. I remember getting back into my father's car and putting the game into the console... *click* went the on switch as I pushed it up...

...and I saw this.

This game was perfect for me. It's story was so beautiful. It dealt with issues that I was facing at the time, being a public school student. Stuff like teasing, problems at home, and friendship. It was the perfect escape. In fact, the entire game is actually an escapist fantasy: one character accidentally uses a magic book to change the entire world. In the real world, he's picked on constantly. He misses his deceased mother greatly and his father has had many problems ever since her passing. However, in Ivalice, he's the prince, his mother is the Queen, and his dad is the powerful Judgemaster. Doned, the protagonist Marche's wheelchair-striken, sickly brother, is not ill in this new world and doesn't want to return.

The game looked beautiful. The battle maps were highly detailed, the character models looked great, the hand-drawn style character portraits were enticing. Half of the fun of FFTA was just looking at the game. I mean, look at this illustration. Ryomo Ito's character designs are incredible. The detail, the specific color palette, and the overall lightness of the artwork vaguely recalls the work of series veteran Yoshitaka Amano without seeming like a copycat.

And there there was the actual gameplay itself. The game is an interesting combination of linear and non-linear elements. The main character joins a "clan" which is basically a band of mercenaries willing to do all different kinds of work. You get to name your clan. You then get leads on "missions" from the pub. Missions come it two varieties: battle missions and dispatch missions. In a battle mission, you have to complete a battle to clear the mission. In a dispatch mission, you choose a character to leave temporarily (a span of time that varies by mission, usually a few in-game days or after you've defeated a certain number of enemies) to complete a task. As an added twist, some missions require items or specific jobs to complete. For example, one bodyguard dispatch mission requires the "Defender" job. All missions have rewards. You're free to take any mission, so long as you have the required items. Most battle missions are either turf wars between clans or events that advance the story. More missions become available as you complete others. It's never boring. You're always either advancing the incredible storyline or laying the proverbial smackdown on rival clans, gaining new turfs and unlocking new areas. When you unlock a new area, you get to choose where it is placed on the world map. This makes sense in the context of the game because the four main characters (Marche; the hero; Ritz, Mewt, and Doned) have basically created the world of Ivalice themselves, with Doned seeming to be the game's primary influence. Just play the game and you'll get it.

The game's job system is similar to the original FF Tactics with one notable exception: some jobs are exclusive to race. There are five races in Ivalice: Human, Nu Mou, Viera, Moogle, and Bangaa. If you've played Final Fantasy XII, you are familiar with these races. Only Moogles have access to the Gunner job and only the Bangaa get Dragoon. There are many other exclusives, as well.

Ivalice is governed by "Laws". Laws are enforced by Judges (Mewt's father, the Judgemaster, is at the left) who appear anytime there is a conflict. Laws forbid certain actions in combat and rewards others. For example, a typical law would forbid a successful attack with a "Greatsword" and reward an attack with a "Rapier". When you break a law, a judge will issue a yellow card or a red card, depending on its severity (first offenses that don't result in KO get yellow cards, but repeat offenses and illegal KOs receive red cards). Legal KOs and recommended actions like a strike with a rapier in the example above, result in a character being rewarding with "JP" (Judge Points). JP is used to perform combos with other characters using your specific job's combo command. Combos are essentially team-up attacks that deal high damage. When a character amasses 10 JP (the maximum), they can summon their race's Totema (beings who guard the crystals that keep the world in order) to deal massive HP or MP damage to all enemies. Later in the game, you get access to cards that alter laws. You can nullify a law that is detrimental or you can add a law that may be advantageous. However, its made clear from the beginning that something may be wrong with this system....

"Resentment towards Queen Remedi has been building these last few years. The reason? Frequent and seemingly arbitrary changes in the laws. It's gone so far that some pundits wryly say she's "...doing it to please that brat, the prince."

This adds a whole new wrinkle of potential tactics to the game. For example, each law that forbids something also rewards something. In the "Greatsword/Rapier" example, a successful Rapier strike with award a character with 1 JP. Also, if you're fighting mages, just use a "Color magic" card to forbid the use of black/white/red/blue magic. Should be an easy victory.

As fun and as deep as FF Tactics Advance's gameplay is, the part that shines the most is the storyline. It's one of the most impressive stories that a Final Fantasy game has ever told. Each main character faces a powerful enemy within themselves during the course of the game. One example is Ritz (the first character illustration above). She is teased for her natural white hair in the real world. She constantly dyes it red to hid her imperfection. However, all the kids know she does this. She strongly resents Marche's attempts to turn the world back to normal. Her comrade is Shara, a Viera warrior. She teachers her that, to the Viera, white hair is considered a blessing and helps her learn to fully accept herself.

Thus is Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. I'm willing to say it's the finest game ever made for the Gameboy Advance. It's powerful, relevant storyline teaches us many lessons about self-worth, dwelling on the past, corruption, and the importance of accepting reality rather than living in fiction. Combine that with beautiful graphics and a deep combat system and you've got one of the best games ever made.

The Sleep Deprived Rant of an Angry Gamer

What sets apart the MMORPG from all other games? Many things, indeed. It's a much larger time investment to play one, there are subscription fees to pay, you get access to a unique group of players that you're in almost constant contact with, and almost always a huge learning curve. The rewards of an MMO are potentially great. With time invested and knowledge of your class, you can have a damn good time playing one. You feel like you are part of a community. Community is central to the MMO. Why do you think social networking sites are so popular today? Community. You can stay in touch with practically everyone you know and love from the comfort of your own home and on your own time. MMORPG's are like any other family. They even have those annoying little cousins or siblings that follow you around and ask dumbass questions like "can u giv me sum gold". Fuck no! I won't give you any goddamn gold. "plz I need nu equipmnt im gettin pwned" Grrr.... ok here's 5 gold. Leave me alone.

World of Warcraft is probably the most popular MMO ever. It's massive. It's larger than you can fathom. 11 million unique accounts? That's more than the populations of some countries. It's a damn good game. It's not hard to get into (which is normally a hallmark of MMOs) and it's set up in such a way that you feel rewarded for what you do and the time you put into it. It keeps you coming back. Lots of people you know already have accounts and play.

However, it's apparently pretty damn easy to get hacked. I have a close friend that was recently hacked. He even shelled out the extra cash to buy an authenticator to add extra security to his account. He found out when he tried to log into his account and found out that he had been accused of robbing his guild's bank (our guild's bank, rather. I'm in the same guild). His account was frozen for three days and his reputation was ruined. Having your WoW account is just like having your identity stolen. Someone loses money (or something valuable) and your rep is trashed.

This got me to thinking. I'd heard of hackers and people exploiting WoW. However, I didn't KNOW anybody who had actually gotten hacked. Once I started looking, however, they started popping up everywhere. People I knew... all having the same problem.

Some have pointed at the wildly popular Curse client that lets players manage and use AddOns and enhance the gaming experience (I found the Auctioneer addon highly useful when I played). They say this program is infected with keyloggers that steal your password. Experts in the field also suspect that websites that have nothing to do with WoW also carry such keyloggers. It makes sense because, if you play wow, it's not a huge task to guess what other websites you frequent.

Being fucked over in World of Warcraft is as bad as having your 357 Hour save data in Final Fantasy X deleted accidentally. The five stages of grief run their course and then you find yourself back into the game, trying desperately to reach the god-like state you attained before. Any gamer worth his salt has went through something like that...

...But in an MMO it's so much harder to repair your status. It's so much harder to get back the equipment you lost, the gold you had, and even the friends you had made. Maybe an administrator can restore some of your stuff or maybe they could even fix all of it; but damage done to a players reputation almost can't be restored. My friend was forced to quit playing because his guild-mates didn't trust him anymore.

Why is hacking a problem, Blizzard? People will always come up with ingenious new ways to fuck over his fellow player... I understand that. Nevertheless, I'm paying you a pretty penny to adventure in Azeroth. For those who love them, MMOs are such wonderful things. I know that I've gotten a lot of enjoyment out of playing WoW, FFXI, Ragnarok Online, and hell even Maple Story for awhile. With the money and time we give you, we expect to be taken care of.

Maybe it's getting too big for you to handle... I have a huge amount of empathy for you. It must be hard to run something so incredibly large. However, you have to get this hacking situation under control. You have to get control over this monstrous entity you have created. It's breaking from its reigns... It's like Tetsuo at the end of "Akira". If you don't, we'll leave. I left today. I bought the Final Fantasy XI Ultimate Collection from Steam for $7.49. I always kinda liked FFXI more anyway... but no one played it. I have at least one friend (the guy that got fucked by hackers) that wants to play with me. I wish you the best and I hope you can provide a safer environment for all your current players. They deserve it.

A quickie

What do you think of that big stupid picture at the top of the page? I think it's kinda funny. It's like I'm trying to be artsy or something. :p More cool shit coming. I promise.

Up in the Air

"Up in the Air" is round three for Jason Reitman (Thank You For Smoking; Juno). It's the story of Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) who makes a living firing people. Ryan burns up miles in the sky flying from city to city performing his duties. He loves travel and rues the small part of the year he doesn't work. His apartment looks like a hotel room. His philosophy is to avoid being weighed down my material possessions and relationships. He avoids most of what all people love and cherish. Perpetually on the move, travelling lightly and efficiently. Ryan also has a self-help seminar based on his lifestyle where he asks the question: "how much does your life weigh?" Then, he urges taking those things that weigh us down out of our "backpacks". I find myself at odds with Ryan's philosophy. I'm materialistic, a friend to many, and very much a family-oriented person. But Ryan nearly convinced me all those things were holding me back. He enchanted me. 

Ryan meets a lot of people. Most of them one time and never again. Although, there is one person (a woman) he calls back. Alex (Vera Farmiga) travels a lot, too. They share the type of non-commitment relationship that Ryan is comfortable with, only meeting when their paths cross. They're practically the same person on the exterior. They each know exactly what they want out of the relationship, at first.

Then there's Natalie (the incredibly cute Anna Kendrick). She's the kind of person that seems destined for success. Put together, neat, all-business. She's initially at odds with Ryan because of her plan to modernize the "termination facilitation" (as Ryan calls it) business by using TV screens and cameras to fire employees rather than a face-to-face meeting. However, she finds herself traveling with Ryan on his possible final tour of duty. He takes pride in his work and intends to show her that face-to-face is the only possible way the job could be done. That can't be stressed enough: Ryan loves what he does. It's in sync with his lifestyle.

Ryan believes Natalie's approach is too cold. He believes that there's a certain elegance to his job. Something that is lost without physical contact. Losing your job isn't a happy event. It's urgent and life-changing. But it's OK. Ryan is on your side. He's there to let you down safely and he'll even help you get back on your feet. He has some pamphlets and papers for that... Would you rather be fired by a face on a television? Or by Ryan? Natalie has many drilled termination facilitators. They have flowcharts that will help them get the job done. But Ryan doesn't need a flowchart. Ryan is the flowchart. He's a human termination facilitator. He's the epitome of "married to my job."

Stylistically, "Up in the Air" continues Reitman's unique film-making style. An interesting opening and his trademark brief illustrative sequences are there. There's moments of comedy and moments of tragedy, but it's not heavy on either. It's the journey of Ryan and the people he meets along the way. Take it, or leave it.

"Up in the Air" is a wonderful film. So, I won't spoil anything else for you. Fly with Ryan and discover this film for yourself. (***)

Under-appreciated Things #2: Uncle Goddamn

"Goddamn right."

If you're the kind of person that was sincerely happy when Jackass 3D was announced, then I bet you'd love Uncle Goddamn. Someone has filmed what we've all thought about doing when we were drinking with our friends but, ultimately, didn't do because we valued friendship.

Here's a YouTube video that showcases part of Uncle Goddamn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8y3vfKfwn0&feature=related

That's not even the half of it. The movie is a series of home videos. The Elmore's live in Shelby, NC. They drink. A lot. In their beer-fueled quest for entertainment, they like to mess around with each other. We've all done it... but these guys do it better. We learn that Uncle Robert's response to any situation is "invariably goddamn" (as the film puts it). He accidentally hits his head on the cabinets, "goddamn". He falls victim to the ol' hand-full-of-shaving-cream-face-tickle-prank, "there ain't no goddamn sense in this". A little girl calls him "Tin Man" after his loving family spray paints his entire face silver-gray, "goddamn right!". There's also other little snippets thrown in such as the particularly hilarious segment where Pappy, the matriarch of the family, tells two guys he's upset with on the TV to "eat this dick" as he removes his pants

I don't consider myself highly insensitive. If at all, I'm as desensitized as anyone else growing up in America today. But you can't help but laugh at this family. Everyone gets messed with a little bit, but Uncle "Goddamn" Robert is systematically tortured by everyone. I strongly recommend finding and purchasing the DVD. It's definitely worth it!