One Year Later...

On January 24, 2010, I posted this:

"America is the 90s was a complicated place for video games. It was a time of trivial censorship: such as the renaming of the "Holy" spell in Final Fantasy IV to "White" and the omission of any references to prayer. The Tower of Prayers became Tower of Wishes and Rosa lost her helpful "Pray" command altogether. Mortal Kombat and Doom were turning us all, allegedly, violent little monsters. If things like mentioning prayer in a video game was making peoples heads turn, then there was no way that the first part of Persona 2 (Innocent Sin) would have ever seen the light of day in America. The second chapter (Eternal Punishment) was released; but is so rare that it doesn't even count. But not all is lost..."

I went on to talk about a recently finished fan translation of Persona 2: Innocent Sin. I never checked out the fan translation because, when school started back, I basically forgot about it altogether.

However, on May 24 of this year... I came across this post on the PlayStation Blog: Lost Persona Chapter Persona 2: Innocent Sin Coming to PSP

What?

God, reach your hands down from the clouds and pinch my butt to make sure I'm dreaming! Finally my prayer got through.

I can wait to have a gay relationship and fight Adolf Hitler

Some Questions for Harold Camping

You knew it was coming.

We've had quite a lot of fun with the 2011 Rapture and I, personally, relished in the all the jokes and even participated actively. I am looking forward to the conclusion to this cultural moment in the coming days. However, I have some fairly serious (not at all) questions about the Rapture for Harold Camping. I look forward to his response (ain't gon' happen).

The Rapture is said to life up all the believers into the air to meet with Jesus. So, Mr. Camping...

1.) What about roofs? Say some guy is driving around in his truck when the Rapture occurs. The roof of the truck, being a solid object, would prevent the man inside from rising into the sky. Will the man just stick the ceiling of his truck until he manages to free himself? Will he be able to even is also a good question? Exactly how much force does God exert on a human body to lift one into the air? Will people simply smash into the ceilings of their homes and eventually be crushed into liquid? This is a serious public safety concern.

2.) What about oxygen deprivation/altitude sickness? Since the Bible doesn't seem to specify the precise height in which the Raptured will meet with Jesus, we can only guess (kind of like how you apparently threw a dart at the calendar to pick this day...) Jets that have lost cabin pressure are supposed to drop down to 10,000 feet so I guess that would be a good place to start. Or does God simply rain down high altitude breathing apparatuses for everyone?

3.) Since when can Jesus fly? I don't remember that part in the gospels. Is that what he's been up to since the Resurrection and ascent into Heaven? Honing his flight skills? Seems reasonable to me. I do feel that that would have been a more useful talent the first go around. Imagine Jesus showering the hungry with food from above. Also would have left zero doubt to the whole "Son of God" question. Either that or the son of Mary and an undisclosed avian third party.

4.) What about the rest of the world? What about the Muslims? Will they get serious dick envy when it turns out their prophet was dead wrong and the Christians were right all along? Do you forsee mass conversions? How will this affect peace in the Middle East? How will this affect oil prices? How will this affect how much one pays for a loaf of bread in China? What about the Jews? Do you hate Jews, Mr. Camping?

For more information see: "attention whore"

Just some very serious (not really) questions for a very serious man. And please don't get all butt-hurt. It's okay to step back and have a nice laugh about the attention-seeking clowns that share a faith with you. Jesus probably thinks all this Rapture nonsense is ridiculous too.