Retro: Rayman

It seems that nowadays most video game companies don't use their mascots anymore, save Nintendo (and to a lesser extent Sega) who plaster Mario's iconic mug onto anything they can get their hands on. It's more likely for someone to own a piece of Mario merchandise than a first-aid kit. That's a fact (that I just made up). PlayStation had its platforming/adventure icons: Crash, Spyro, Jak & Daxter, Sly Cooper, Ratchet & Clank. Xbox had resident badass Master Chief... so on and so forth.

I suppose there's room for two Michel's in my heart.

Lest we forget Ubisoft's mascot: Rayman. Created by French National Hero (at least in my mind) Michel Ancel and debuting in the eponymous 1995 platformer. If you've never played Rayman, now might be a good time. 2011 marks the long-awaited return of the limbless fist-slinger in Rayman: Origins which is shaping up to be an incredible piece of platforming joy.

The original Rayman is a colorful and vibrant 2-D platformer. You'll notice this right away when you step into the first world. The environments are impressively detailed and surreal. Each themed world is both cutesy and nightmarish in its own special way and has unique obstacles and creatures that want Rayman dead: weaponized fruit, gravity-defying piranha, and eyeballs that shoot lightning... I'm not kidding about the surreal part. It's like if Candy Land fucked Dir En Grey's Obscure music video. Did I mention Rayman doesn't have any limbs? He's a floating torso with magic hands and feet! Rayman himself is vibrant, animated, and aesthetically pleasing.

Bonus character for Assassin's Creed Rev.?

One thing Rayman will do is remind you that video games used to be hard. We all remember those days, don't we? Rayman's health doesn't regenerate and not all stages have a midway checkpoint. I don't think the game gives you nowhere as many continues as you need and that's my only real criticism of the game. You start out with 5 and I'd be surprised if a newcomer completes Dream Forest with more than 1 or 2. I've played quite a bit of the game lately and, far as I can tell, you can't get any additional continues unless you cheat (Up, Down, Right, Left on the Game Over screen when you have less than three continues remaining... you're welcome). Or maybe I should just suck it up and admit that modern gaming has spoiled me.

So if you like platformers and you've (somehow) skipped over Rayman, give it a shot. You probably won't be disappointed. Oh and speaking of French National Hero and Certified Ass-Kicker Michel Ancel...

My body is ready, Pey'j...

We await patiently for Beyond Good & Evil 2.