BUI: Blogging Under the Influence

I may or may not be heavily medicated right now.

So before writing that post about The Amazing Spider-Man, I haven't done shit on this blog in forever. I don't know why I started it in the first place. Most of views are most likely traffic Google image search. The most views I ever got was the most about Final Fantasy summons (which gives you an idea of how interesting my blog is). It was also the post with the most pictures probably. Anytime someone typed "shiva ff" into Google, my image probably came up somewhere in the results. I guess I wanted a venue to give my barely informed opinion on stuff like movies and video games. Reading some of these old posts is quite revealing. What was I thinking? Like, for example, my review of Up in the Air is several paragraphs of me doing my best Roger Ebert impression. I was initially attracted to his style because of how personal it is. Much critical writing about film is kinda dry, but Ebert's work tells a story. He's also got wit by the bushel: something I wish I had. The most hilarious thing I ever did was enable ad sense on my blog. Yeah, I really did that. No lying. A few views a day, if that, and I was going to make bank on it.

Many of these posts don't accurately reflect my style. Up until the Spider-Man review, I struggled with my voice. I feigned seriousness by emulating a serious movie critic and grasped at straws for stuff to write about. I also imposed an arbitrary "rating system" on myself that I abandoned after like seven minutes. I now think I have a better idea of what I want to do with this blog. Just fucking write. Just like the good ol' days. Like when I was a bat-shit insane teenager writing on Xanga and Myspace and being all passive-aggressive. 

Who every blogger thinks they are.

The irony is that I have a lot of fun blogging, but I make fun of blogging and, more specifically, bloggers all the time because of how self-important they seem to be. I was definitely way guilty of this and probably deserve life imprisonment for it. Why should I care what you think about Natural Born Killers? Who the fuck are you? I'm no one. The Internet gives me a voice I probably don't deserve. I'm not a particularly spectacular writer, nor am I bursting with wit and intelligence. I'm also not a big enough whore to beg for people to read my blog. I'll post a link on Facebook and say: "yeah, I wrote this. Read it if you want I guess maybe sorta." And what about the people who become famous for half an hour for having a sour interaction with a real celebrity and blogging about it later. The recent Daniel Tosh rape joke controversy speaks to this. As well as the whole Patton Oswalt ordeal. Both of these actual goddamn celebrities were forced to apologize to a couple of, as Oswalt puts it "self-aggrandizing," nobodies. Doesn't that seem wrong? Maybe I'm going about this wrong. Maybe I should go heckle Louis CK so he'll make a mean joke about me. Then, I can pretend to be so upset about it later on my blog and he'll have to beg for my forgiveness. But it's whatever, I guess. I'm going to keep doing this because I get some level of enjoyment out of it whether anyone's listening or not.